i think my tv is drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
