are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
