No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You have to summon your inner elephant
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
