would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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