I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize