It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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