Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
