New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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