is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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