i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
