You just made me feel so damn special
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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