She said her name was "party"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
