Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
