I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it glows. i had to have it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
