then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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