I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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