im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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