I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
