69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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