The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
