return my video game
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
