Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you didnt know i had herpes?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
