its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
