I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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