watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I love you.
Bad choice
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