I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
