She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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