he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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