yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
