Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
