I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Come share oat with me in your robe
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
