first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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