Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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