like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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