i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
