Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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