i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
