hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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