Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You smell like stripper and shame
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
