So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
