four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
