nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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