He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
