I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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