Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
