I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
