Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
