SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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