Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize