I just threw up on my dentist
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
