Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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