You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
