yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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