I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize