So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
