The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Terrible idea I love it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
