I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
