i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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