i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
