if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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