i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize