She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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