This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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